Tsukune tries to flirt and fails miserably
by the go-to guy
Summary: Exactly what the title says. Just a short, for-fun drabble that I thought up. Crack. Chapter 3 up.
1. Outer Moka

"Are you okay Moka?" said pink-haired vampire looked up from the book that she was reading at the boy who just asked the question.

"Yes Tsukune, why do you ask?"

"Because it must have been a long fall from heaven." Moka raised her eyebrow in confusion, unsure of how to respond.

"Um….what?"

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together." Moka blushed, but still had absolutely no idea what was going on. What in the world was making Tsukune act so out of character?

"Tsukune, is something wrong?"

"The only thing that's wrong here is that I'm not in your arms." Moka just blushed even deeper and looked away, so Tsukune kept going.

"If you were a burger at McDonald's I would call you a McBeautiful."

"Is your father a thief? He has stolen the stars from the sky and put them into your eyes."

"Can I have a picture of you? I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas." Moka smacked her forehead in exasperation and decided that this had gone on for long enough.

"Tsukune, what are you doing?" He grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck in his typical fashion.

"Trying to flirt with you…"

"Why?"

"Well, Gin told me all of these pickup lines, and I wanted to try them out on the girl who meant the most to me." Moka giggled and, after putting in her bookmark, got up and walked over to her boyfriend.

"Well, Tsukune, that's very sweet. And as long as you promise not to use them on any other girls, I'll forgive for using such bad lines." She said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I promise." He said solemnly.

"Tsukune…being this close to you… I just get so…" CHOMP!

"Ow! Moka, at least warn me when you're going to suck my blood!"

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Just a little idea that popped into my head and wouldn't let go. I'm ashamed that I know such crappy pickup lines…


	2. Inner Moka

Tsukune watched as Moka showed another monster just who was at the top of the food chain, and he decided now would be the ideal time to make his move. He walked up to his girlfriend. "Hey Moka…"

She turned, brushing off her clothes. "Yes, Tsukune?"

"Is your last name Gillette? Because you're the best a man can get." Moka cringed.

_Oh God, not this again. _She thought. "Tsukune, what have I told you about talking to Gin?"

"Actually, Kurumu gave these new ones to me." Tsukune said sheepishly. "She said that they were really effective…"

Moka raised an eyebrow and put a hand on her hip, but didn't say anything, which Tsukune took as a good sign and continued.

"All those curves and me with no breaks!" Moka blushed and glanced down at her body. Tsukune didn't see, and he just kept spouting out lines. "You must be in the wrong place-the miss universe contest is over there." Tsukune pointed towards the academy, and Moka was debating the pros and cons of kicking Kurumu's butt.

"Life without you would be like a broken pencil-pointless."

"I was blinded by your beauty, so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

"Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you."

"Enough!" Moka interrupted before any more horrible lines could be said. "Tsukune, I appreciate the effort, but pick-up lines are not supposed to be used when you are already going out!"

"B-but Kurumu said it would help to further our relationship!"

"And you actually listened to her? Why? She's just as bad as Gin!"

"Good point…"

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Since I don't have enough to go off of from my Mornings poll, I decided to update this story, which for some reason is kind of popular. Hope you enjoy! (And please answer the poll on my profile!)


	3. Tsukune

I figured that I've made Tsukune suffer enough, so now it's Moka's turn! Enjoy!

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Moka fidgeted, blushing as she tried to find the right words and form coherent sentances. It was now or never, while they had the classroom to themselves. Finally, she spoke up. "Tsukune?" Said human looked up from the homework he was struggling to complete.

"Yeah Moka?" The pink-haired vampire gulped.

"You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!" Moka blurted out. Tsukune sat in stunned silence for a few moments.

"…What?"

"Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!" the vampire spouted, and Tsukune instantly realized what was going on.

"Moka, you don't have to-"

"Stand still so I can pick you up!" Moka interrupted. Tsukune didn't have a response to that. "Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'!"

Tsukune stared in horror as he tried to come to terms with the fact that _he _had said things this lame. Moka didn't waste a second of silence and kept on talking. "If you were a Taser, you would be set in stunning!"

"Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst roses?"

"Do you have a band-aid? I scraped my knee falling for you."

"I have-"

"I get it!" Tsukune couldn't take it anymore; he had promised Moka that he wouldn't try any more awful pickup lines, and felt that it was his duty to make sure his girlfriend didn't go through the same thing he did. Tsukune got up and went over to Moka, who was furiously blushing. "Thank you Moka; the fact that you were willing to humiliate yourself for me means a lot."

Moka spoke up softly. "Can I say just one more?" Tsukune rolled his eyes.

"Fine." Moka grinned.

"I have an 'owie' on my lips; can you make it better?" Moka asked slyly. Then, there was no more need for awful pick-up lines.


End file.
